Last Updated on April 17, 2024

Bringing a newborn home for the first time is equal parts exciting and terrifying.

The first few months of life with a newborn is a time of much trial and error, unwelcome advice, and long days.

Every newborn is different, but some of the things that new mums, and second time mums like me experience on a daily basis are the same.

To help you survive the first few months with a newborn, here are the ways I’ve handled some of the daily newborn challenges I’ve come across with my own newborn.

Related post:
Thomas’ birth story

DEALING WITH NEWBORN REFLUX

Dealing with newborn reflux is a part of daily newborn life for me at the moment.

At first when all your newborn does is vomit, even projectile vomit at times, and cries often it can be tiring to know how to deal with it, and how to make life easier for everyone.

The advice I was given by a midwife was to:

• Feed often, but in small amounts
• Take feeding breaks every 15 minutes and burp your newborn during this time
• Hold your newborn upright for 20 minutes at the end of a feed

I also suggest always having muslins available, as your newborn can still vomit sometime after a feed. Also, place them in a bouncy chair so they are sitting upright whenever you need to put them down.

USE A SLING IF YOU CAN

My absolute favourite newborn baby essential during the first three months of having a newborn is a baby sling.

My newborn doesn’t like to sleep in his moses basket during the day, but thankfully he has taken to sleeping in a baby sling for a couple of hours at a time, which means I can do whatever it is I need to do.

Wearing a sling at first was weird, I felt like Thomas was going to fall out, but the movement, being able to hear my heartbeat, and being close to me works in a way that enables him to calm down and rest.

NEWBORNS DON’T HAVE TO HAVE A BATH EVERYDAY

Thomas was 7 weeks old when he had his first bath, and the midwife said that’s okay, as newborns don’t need to have a bath as often as older children.

From what I’ve read newborns only need a bath once a week, which we try to do, but sometimes we don’t and that’s okay.

YOU DON’T NEED TO WAKE YOUR NEWBORN FOR A FEED

The advice I was given by a midwife when I returned home was to feed my newborn when he needs it, and not to feed according to a timed schedule.

During the night I only feed my newborn when he wakes, which once he does I change his nappy first, feed him, burp him, and put him straight to bed.

LET YOUR NEWBORN SELF SETTLE

This is something that I’m working really hard on to avoid the self settling issues I have with Ryan, who at four years old still needs me to sit with him until he falls asleep.

At one and a half months old I started to put my newborn to bed at around 8pm and leave the room, only going in if he cried loudly. If he was just grizzling I’d leave him for five minutes to see if he settles on his own.

Also, to help him distinguish between naps and his night sleep, I only put him in his cot at night, during the day he sleeps in his sling, moses basket, or on my bed.

NAPPY, FOOD, SLEEP REPEAT

The three things I check when my newborn is having a meltdown is first seeing if his nappy needs changing, I then see if he’s hungry, then I check to see if he’s tired.

If none of these calm him down I walk him around the house until the meltdown eases.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

I know that taking care of yourself when you have a newborn is easier said than done, and I also know that it’s tiring hearing this advice all the time, but it’s true.

I live by the saying that you need to put your own oxygen mask on before you help others. If you are tired then it’s easy to become quickly annoyed at everyone around you, which makes for an unhappy household.

Whenever you can, and it doesn’t have to be everyday, try to take care of yourself by doing things that make you happy.

Look for small pockets of time to get things done or for things that make you happy. It can be as small as 10 minutes, where you can even lay down, or sit down next to your newborn and read, spend some time on your phone, or even take a quick nap.

If you’d like some ideas on how to take care of yourself, here are 30 ways to schedule self-care into your daily routine.

GET SOME HELP

Taking care of a newborn, as well as everything else you want to do, but may not be able to do, is stressful and getting help where you can offers some relief.

If you are in the position where you can get help ask for it, or if like me you like to do it all, maybe just get help on the things that take longer, like bedtime. Or maybe get help in the house department, like having someone else load or unload the dishwasher, or sweep the floors.

Any help you can get whether newborn related or not, is one thing less you have to do.

DON’T HAVE HIGH EXPECTATIONS FOR YOUR DAY

Don’t get disappointed if today you didn’t get as much done as you did yesterday.

This is very, very hard for me as I measure the success of my day by how much I tick of my to do list, but it’s something that I’m working on.

Sometimes your newborn will sleep like a champion and you can get heaps of things done. Then some days you’ll be in the middle of something and 10 minutes after falling asleep your newborn wakes up, dashing your hopes of achieving anything.

Remembering that it’s okay if you have an unproductive day because newborns are unpredictable, will make you feel better on the days where all you feel like you’ve done is sit on the couch.

LET GO OF THE PRESSURE TO HAVE A CLEAN HOUSE

This is another thing that’s really hard for me. I’m super anal about having everything in its place.

In the first couple of weeks of having my newborn at home, combined with also having a preschooler, I operated at the same crazy level of clean as I did before having both kids.

I spent any spare minute I had doing dishes, tidying toys, cleaning bathrooms, and cooking dinner. It was exhausting, and I just constantly yelled at everyone to keep everything clean.

I realise now this wasn’t a good use of my time and energy. So let the pressure of having a clean house go, tidy up if you need to, to feel sane, but leave bigger messes and dishes until the end of the night when your newborn is asleep, or when you can get some extra help.

DON’T EVER FEEL GUILTY ABOUT ANYTHING

Don’t ever feel guilty about the choices you make with your own child. As long as they and you are happy and healthy, that’s all that matters.

You will receive unwanted advice at all stages of motherhood, you may even be judged, and undoubtedly you’ll compare your child to others the same age, but always remember that all babies and children are different, and only you know what’s best for your child and family.

I feel so strongly about this, and I constantly feel guilty about something, one thing in particular was my experience breast feeding Ryan. I constantly got told that breast is best, and after having him was prodded and poked and grabbed by midwives in my attempt to feed him.

A few weeks after Ryan was born and I started breast feeding and formula feeding him, I thought I’d invented a new way of feeding as I was never told about mix feeding by anyone, hence why I felt a little guilty about doing it.

When Thomas started having the same breast feeding issues in the hospital as Ryan, I wasn’t afraid to tell the midwives that I planned on bottle feeding him when I got home. After I said this the midwife went and got Thomas some formula, and when he started feeding it was my happiest moment ever.

My point is you do you, do what you feel is best, what you feel comfortable doing, and what you want to do when it comes to your child. Never feel guilty about your choices, and don’t feel the need to justify them.

DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO SURVIVE

To date this is the best piece of advice I’ve ever received, and it ties in with not feeling guilty about anything.

I had Ryan sleeping on me for the first 5 weeks of his life. It terrified me to do so, but I was at the stage where I dreaded nights, and the only way anyone could get sleep was to co-sleep.

Do whatever you need to do to get through the day or night.

If this means co-sleeping so you can get some sleep do it.

If it means taking a shower whilst your baby is crying for the 100^th time that morning do it.

If you want to do baby led weaning when you’re baby is ready for food do it.

Do whatever you need to do to survive, so you can feel good about yourself and your day.

I hope you’ve found some tips here for surviving the first few months with a newborn.

It can be such a challenging and difficult time, made even more difficult by feeling like we’re not doing the right thing, that we’re setting our newborn up for bad habits later on in their life, or that we aren’t coping like we thought we would.

Just take everything one day at a time, have confidence that you’re doing the right thing, and remember this “this too shall pass”, anything that’s difficult today, won’t be tomorrow.

What tips will you follow during your first few months with a newborn?