Moving away from loved ones

An update on moving away from loved ones

In April I wrote about my thoughts on moving overseas – 5 years later, where I wrote about some of the harder things about moving from Australia to the UK.

A couple of these harder things still ring true 5.5 years later.

In fact, some of them are harder now then they’ve ever been, and I want to discuss them a bit more here.

I hope that by discussing them anyone thinking of moving overseas considers them, or at least becomes aware of them, because they’re things I didn’t even think about, but have had such an impact on how I’m currently feeling.

When we decided to move overseas, I didn’t give it much thought, which isn’t unusual for me, because I tend to not think too much about the bigger things in my life.

For example, little things like deciding on a bed cover, or what groceries to buy, take up a lot of space in my brain.

However, big decisions like moving with kids, or buying a house, are things I hardly think about, I just go with it.

So when we decided to move to the UK, I didn’t think about what that meant for our lives, maybe because we had to move for Nick’s work, so I just accepted it, and started to prepare for it.

It only hit me that we were moving as I sat on the plane to leave, and I realised that I’ll miss my friends A LOT.

I started crying when I realised this. There was one friend in particular that I was going to miss a lot. We were best friends before falling out and not talking for 10 years. We only just got back in touch before I moved, and I was really sad that we didn’t get a proper chance to reconnect.

Now 5.5 years after moving to the UK, I still miss that friend, and I’m starting to realise that I gave up a lot to move.

My parents just left after being here for four months, which is why these feelings have surfaced, and it’s also made me feel like, at this particular point in time, that for me the move hasn’t been worth it.

Ryan was 7 months old when we moved, and Thomas was born 3 years into our move. Having my parents here for the past four months has shown me just how much we’re all missing, and has really highlighted something I knew, but didn’t know completely, which is how much not having family support has impacted my mood and life.

Having them here, and now gone, has made me feel more alone than I’ve ever felt since moving.

I solo parent about 90% of the time. Having no family support has impacted my work, but more recently I’ve become aware that having no loved ones around affects not only me, but the boys as well.

The boys miss out on living so far away from family. They don’t learn about life through older generation’s eyes, and they don’t get precious grandparent time.

My parents are missing out the most. They don’t get to spend time with their daughters (my sister moved here also), and they miss seeing their grandsons grow up.

I’ve really noticed just how much I’ve lost by moving here, and it’s hard to see the good right now.

By moving I left behind family, and family support, friends who I built friendships with over decades, and even though I’ve made some mum friends here, it’s not the same.

I also left behind a house, which we sold, and now we’re renting. We’ve moved 4 times in 5 years. Nothing feels like ours, and I feel like the boys don’t get the freedom they would get by having a home that was ours.

I’m not unhappy here, I’m just unhappy right now, because I’ve had a taste of what having family around is like, and now it’s hard going back to living without it.

My mood is not great, I’m crying a lot, I’m snappy, and I just need some time to get back to my normal self.

I know I’ll go back to being happy, I definitely will, but having my parents here, having help finally, feeling some sense of the past, and now having that taken away is hard.

I really wish that I thought about these things before moving overseas, so I could have prepared myself better for the challenges that they present.

I hope that by sharing some of these thoughts you’re able to think about how they may impact you, if you’re looking to move overseas at some point.

Have you ever felt like this, and do you have any tips on how to overcome it?