I love both of my boys to the moon and back, as I say to my 5 year old son Ryan. However, lately I’ve increasingly noticed that I much prefer parenting an older child, and I actually feel like I’m a better parent at the older child stage.

I have two sons, Thomas who is 20 months old, and Ryan who is 5.

It’s a huge age gap as far as development goes, which has made me notice more and more lately that the baby and toddler stages are really hard, and that I haven’t enjoyed these stages this time around because having an older child has shown me what parenting can be like when the early stages are over.

Please, don’t get me wrong, I love Thomas with all my heart. I love how cute and innocent he is, how his facial expressions change daily, how he’s learning about the world around him, and many more things that make the toddler stage so precious.

However, now that I have an older child, I’ve noticed just how much easier, and more enjoyable parenting has become.

Here are the reasons why I much prefer parenting an older child, and how it’s made me feel like a much better parent than I felt like at the baby and toddler stage.

I hope that by writing this post I can make anyone reading this who has similar feelings feel less alone, or make anyone who is currently parenting a younger child who feels like they’re not doing enough, or who isn’t enjoying certain aspects of parenting, see that things do get more enjoyable as your child develops.

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I’m much less worried about hazards

This morning Thomas fell off a chair, because his new favourite activity is climbing onto it, and boy is he fast! Before I knew it he was on it, then off it.

Little kids equals more stress when it comes to the ways that they can hurt themselves, or the amount of things that they can choke on.

With older children it means no more baby or toddler proofing, less concerns about choking, not having to put heavy objects or breakables out of reach, and not having to feel guilty if an accident that’s largely preventable happens when you take your eyes of your child for one second.

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Comparisons still happen, but they happen much less

Parenting babies and toddlers comes with a lot of comparisons and milestones, which if not reached by the age they say they should, makes you feel like something’s wrong with your child, or your parenting.

I’m not a fan of milestones, as all babies and toddlers develop differently, and if your baby or toddler isn’t doing something when it’s said they should be doing it by, you can unnecessarily worry.

The comparisons and even judgement that comes with babies and toddlers is never ending. From the age your child should be walking or talking, how they should be introduced to solids, whether breast or formula is best, dummy vs no dummy, it feels like you’re always comparing your child to others, and feeling slightly judged on what you choose.

Even though Ryan is now at school, there are of course still comparisons, but there’s much less, and they’re mainly me comparing his abilities to his friends.

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You can reason with older children

As older children can communicate with you, you can reason with them, and explain why they can’t do something, so you can reach an agreement that suits you both.

This means that you can teach them about consequences, and how to act in the world, and they can put these things into practice.

You don’t feel pressured to over plan your days

There can be a lot of pressure to take younger children to classes to help them develop and make friends. However, with an older child the pressure to do these things lessens.

There are still plans that come with older children, sports to go to, school drop offs and pick ups to do. But if it’s raining, or if neither of you want to do something, it’s much easier to have a day where you relax together, and also spend time doing your own things.

I actually plan days into our weekends where we spend a day at home, so Ryan doesn’t think that we always have to be doing something. I want him to learn that he can take time out to do things that he wants to do.

There’s less mess

Parenting an older child means that there’s a different kind of mess in your home to deal with.

Older children come with dens to tidy up, things to pick up off the floor, and endless Lego pieces to sort through.

However, unlike toddlers, you don’t have to clean up entire boxes of toys that have been thrown all over the floor, cut Play-Doh and other sticky substances out of hair, and try to clean sticky hands and faces.

Plus, parenting an older child means that they can start to help around the house. They’re at an age where chores is something they want to do, which means they can start learning the value of working as part of a team, and finding out what it takes to keep a house running.

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Parenting an older child is much more fun

It’s so much more fun parenting an older child, because you can do things together that you both enjoy.

No longer do you have to climb through soft plays, set up craft stations, and spend ages pushing your child on a swing. Instead you can go to the movies, eat at a café, go shopping, snuggle at home, and even have a discussion about things that your child is interested in.

A big plus is that you also don’t have to pack nappies, push a buggy, worry about your child having a major meltdown, or getting home in time for naptime.

You start to feel more like yourself

The baby and toddler stage can be very rewarding. There are all the firsts, as well as the joy you get from seeing your little one’s face light up when they’re finally getting the hang of something, but it’s also challenging and all consuming.

The biggest thing by far that I love about parenting an older child is the growing sense of independence that they have.

Ryan can entertain himself for longer periods of time, and loves having time to himself. He even sometimes tells me he’s going to my bed for alone time.

This growing sense of independence means that I have more time to myself.

More time to get things done, but most importantly more time to do things that I once enjoyed. Things that make me feel like I’m more than just a mum.

I feel like I’m a much better parent when I’m not in the at times challenging trenches of younger children.

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There are many things I love about the baby and toddler stage, but for me, I’ve really come to learn that I’m a much better parent when my children are out of the baby and toddler stage.

I love the older child stage, the stage when I can talk to them, teach them about the world, see how they’re developing into the men they’ll one day become, and where I get time to do things outside of being a mum, which in turn allows me to enjoy motherhood more, because I have the mental capacity to do so.

What stage of motherhood have you felt the best in?