When you’re in the rough and tumble of new mum life, there are so many things that new mums shouldn’t worry about, that they do, and it’s only with hindsight that they realise they weren’t worth worrying about at all.

As mums we all worry about different things, what may cause you a lot of worry, may cause no worry at all to another mum, and that’s totally okay.

As a new mum I wasn’t immune to worrying, but now I know that there are some things new mums shouldn’t worry about.

Today I’m going to share 8 things I worried about as a new mum, which I now know I shouldn’t have, and I hope that by sharing these things I can alleviate any similar worries you may have.

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CRYING

One of the first things new mums shouldn’t worry about is crying.

All babies cry. Some cry a lot, some hardly at all, some only when you’re in public, or like mine in the car when you can’t do anything about it.

Babies cry because they can’t communicate any other way. They may cry due to being wet, hungry, over tired, under stimulated, or for any other reason at all. It’s important to remember that your baby isn’t crying because of anything you’ve done, don’t feel like it’s a reflection on your parenting. Babies cry, it’s what they do.

Believe me, I know how hard it is not to take your baby crying personally, or feel anxious, angry, frustrated, and a whole host of emotions when you can’t seem to settle your baby.

But I can’t say enough that it’s not your fault. All you can do is make sure your baby is dry, fed and rested, and if after checking these things your baby is still crying then you just have to wait it out.

However, if your baby cries excessively and nothing you do helps them and you are really worried, then it’s worth calling your midwife or medical professional for some advice.

BREAST VS FORMULA

This is number one on my list of things new mums shouldn’t worry about, as I feel really strongly about it.

I can’t stress enough that how your baby is fed is your choice, and your choice only.

This is something I only stopped worrying about with my second baby, purely due to experience, not due to support.

There is so much pressure from health professionals and society to breastfeed. Breastfeeding is made to sound like it’s the most natural thing a woman can do, and it’s supposed to be easy, but these things aren’t always true.

If you breastfeed your baby it can take practice to feel comfortable with it, and it may take some time to realise that your baby is getting enough milk, despite worrying that they’re not.

If you formula feed your baby then you may worry about what other people think, or that you’ve failed as a woman because breastfeeding is meant to be the most natural thing you can do.

However, please remember that how you feed your baby is your choice. All that matters is your baby is fed, loved, and cared for.

Related post:
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BONDING WITH YOUR BABY

Unlike what we see on TV, or get told, not every mum bonds with their baby as soon as they’re born, or when they find out they’re pregnant, which is another of the things new mums shouldn’t worry about.

There are many reasons bonding with your baby may not happen for some time, including that you’re so exhausted that you just can’t think about anything but getting through the day, you may be recovering from a traumatic birth, getting over surgery, your hormones may be all over the place, or you may even have some post natal depression.

If you don’t feel an immediate bond with your baby then remember that it can take some time, but if you are worried about how long it’s taking and you just don’t feel right, then it may help to speak to your midwife and get some advice.

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SCHEDULES

Setting schedules is one of the things new mums shouldn’t worry about at the beginning of newborn life.

Whilst it’s important that your newborn eats and sleeps regularly, it will be too stressful for both of you if you try to get your newborn on a sleeping and food schedule until they can distinguish between day and night.

Until they can distinguish between these two things, the advice I was given from my midwife was to feed my baby when he’s hungry, and not to wake him when he’s asleep, which lessened my worry levels about schedules, and how much food and sleep to give my baby at the start by a lot.

MILESTONES

All babies, toddlers, and older kids reach milestones at different ages, and it’s so important to remember this if you’re worrying that your baby isn’t doing something at the time you are told they should.

Milestones are just guides, the age at which your baby starts rolling, crawling, talking, eating, (insert all the other milestones here) are things new mums shouldn’t worry about, your baby will eventually do all of these things.

My first baby, Ryan, was 18 months old when he started walking, which was much later than the age all of my friend’s kids started walking, and later than the age he should have started according to all the walking milestone information I was reading.

But he started walking, and now he runs, it happened, but it happened when he was ready.

Every baby is different, they all do what they need to do when they are ready, and when they do reach a milestone they’ll be working towards the next one whether you can see them doing it or not.

However, if you have strong doubts about something your baby isn’t doing long after you think they should, then seek some professional advice.

UNSOLICITED ADVICE

This is one of the harder things new mums shouldn’t worry about, as unsolicited advice comes from friends and strangers, and as a new mum things that other maybe more established mums give makes you worry about things you don’t need to.

All I can say is don’t let anyone’s opinions or advice make you doubt your choices or abilities as a mum, only you can decide what’s best for your baby, and only you know your baby the best.

SPOILING YOUR BABY 

Letting your baby fall asleep in your arms, carrying them in a sling, rocking them to sleep, feeding them to sleep, or many of the other gorgeous things that come with small humans that you just want to do for as long as you can, won’t spoil them.

Doing these things makes your baby feel secure, loved and cared for, and doing these things won’t make your baby get so used to them that you’ll be doing it for years to come.

GETTING IT RIGHT

There’s no such thing as getting it right all the time with babies, each day is different.

One day you may feel on top of the world like everything has finally fallen into place and you’ve finally got this mum thing sorted.

The next day something new can come up, that makes you question everything all over again.

This is one of the things new mums shouldn’t worry about, as long as your baby is fed and cared for you are doing things right, and if you do want a reminder of these things, then at the end of the night you can write down a couple of things that you felt good about during the day that you can look back on during the days you haven’t felt so good.

I hope this list has made you feel a bit better about some of the things new mums shouldn’t worry about, and if you do worry about some of them, then that’s okay too.

How do you deal with any new mum worries you have?
I’d love to hear them in the comments.