Last Updated on April 15, 2024

I just had my second baby five months ago, and whilst technically I’m not a first time mum, I am a first time mum to two kids, and I honestly feel like I’m a new mum as having four years between each child I’ve forgotten what having a new baby is like.

Whether you’re a first time mum, a second time mum, or have more than two children, every child is different, and your experience with each child will almost certainly feel like you’re starting from scratch.

Here are some tips for new mums, or mums who feel like they are new mums, which will hopefully alleviate any of the worries you may feel during the newborn stage.

1 BABIES CRY, AND IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT

Some babies cry for a long time, some hardly at all, every baby is different and crying is the only way that they can express their feelings.

Babies can cry due to being wet, hungry, over tired, or under stimulated, it can be hard to work out what emotion they are feeling at what time.

The important thing to remember during a crying episode (or in my case a screaming episode, always when I’m driving) is to remember that your baby crying is no reflection on you as a mother. You haven’t done anything to make them cry, it’s something they have to do to get over whatever it is that they are feeling.

When my baby is crying or screaming I take some deep breathes, change his nappy, and then feed him. If this doesn’t work I walk him around the room until he calms down.

If your baby cries for long periods during the day or night and looks to be in pain, or you are worried about your baby’s crying then call your midwife or doctor for advice.

2 HOW YOU FEED YOUR BABY IS YOUR CHOICE, AND YOURS ALONE

This tip for new mums is one that I’m only just following second time around.

My first baby was formula fed from three months old. I remember feeling so embarrassed when I fed him out in public for fear of what people thought, that I secretly put the formula in his bottle so no one would see.

With my second baby I realised that what is best for your baby is that they are fed, and it doesn’t matter if it’s by breast or by formula.

There are so many reasons why a baby may not be breastfed. They may not like it, you may not like it, and you may have breastfeeding issues.

However you choose to feed your baby, it’s your choice and no one else’s. All that matters is your baby is fed and loved and cared for. It’s also good to remember this later on when your baby starts to eat solids, as you will receive advice then as well, as I did by doing baby led weaning when I was a new mum.

3 BONDING WITH YOUR BABY TAKES TIME

Being a new mum is hard, it’s tiring, and it takes a lot to get used to loosing the life you once had.

All of these things and more can impact how you feel about your baby on a day to day basis, which means that it’s totally okay not to feel the levels of bonding that we’re told we ought to feel straight away.

Your bond and feelings with your baby develop when the time is right for you.

4 ALL BABIES DEVELOP AT DIFFERENT SPEEDS

All babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and in fact children of all ages reach milestones at different speeds.

The comparison game is not a good one to play, no one wins, so don’t compare your baby to anyone else’s, no matter how tempting.

Ryan was 18 months old when he started walking, which was much later than many of my friend’s toddlers. It only bothered me when I continually compared him to other children I saw when we were out.

It’s so easy to compare your baby to others, social media accelerates this comparison game, but it’s best to always remember that your baby will reach milestones when they’re ready.

My comparison tip for new mums is to not stress about what you’re told your baby should be doing by a certain age, instead enjoy the stage they are at because before you know it, you’ll be wishing your baby wasn’t growing up so fast.

5 GET HELP IF YOU CAN

Asking for help with a newborn doesn’t come easily to most of us, myself included.

With Ryan I tried to do it all, this time I have been asking my husband for help with things such as household tasks and helping with my newborn as much as he can, so my newborn is used to someone else doing things for him, which will make things easier as he gets older.

Help can also come in the form of asking questions on online forums, or asking friends for advice as well.

6 DON’T FORGET THAT YOU MATTER

No matter what you hear whilst you’re pregnant, you will have time during the day to do something just for you.

Whether you take a nap, eat, shower, or partake in a bit of self-care, make sure you take some time for yourself each day, otherwise all you’ll feel like you’ve achieved by the end of the day is helping everyone else.

7 PUT YOUR BABY IN A SLING WHEN YOU CAN

Wearing your baby in a sling during the day is the best tip for new mums that I have.

Wearing your baby in a sling is a great way to get things done, eat with two hands, and get your baby to have a decent sleep.

8 EVERYTHING WILL PASS

Whenever you feel like something will never end, whether it’s interrupted sleep, long feeds, or horrible crying sessions, just remember this saying “this to shall pass”, which means at some point soon whatever is getting you down will be over, and the next stage will start.

I hope you’ve found some tips in here that may help you get over the harder aspects of the new mum stage.

If you’d like a few more tips for new mums, then please visit this 12 tips for surviving the first few months with a newborn post.

What new mum tips do you have?