10 things I’ve learnt since becoming a school mum

Last Updated on April 10, 2024

Ryan has just finished his first year of school, which means I’ve been a school mum for a year, and boy has time not only flown, but I’ve learnt a lot since becoming a school mum, in addition to everything I’ve learnt since becoming a mum.

As this milestone has come to an end, I thought it would be interesting to document what I’ve learnt from this time.

I hope that by doing this other mums can look back at what they’ve learnt since becoming a school mum, and perhaps even feel better about anything they’ve learnt that’s covered here.

Your child is capable

This is one of the biggest things I’ve learnt since becoming a school mum, which is that Ryan is much more capable than I gave him credit for.

It’s bittersweet preparing your child for school, and when doing so it can be easy to think that they’re not ready for this big step. After all, how can they get through a whole school day on their own when they can hardly dress themselves?

The school starting age in the UK is young, Ryan only just turned 4 when he started school, so I definitely didn’t think he was ready, or capable enough, but he proved me wrong really fast, and it’s something that I now try to remember about many other things, that he’s more capable of doing things than I think he is.

Friendship issues start young

When at school you have no control over who your child becomes friends with, and what they talk about.

During Ryan’s first year of school he had some friendship issues with another boy, and when I addressed them with the other boy’s mum, I was shut down very fast.

I learnt quickly that when it comes to school friendship issues, I could only control what happened outside of school.

This meant that for this particular friendship I didn’t allow Ryan to have any play dates with the other boy outside of school, and I removed Ryan from any bad behaviour that I saw happening between him and the other boy at parties and school pickup.

Your child has a life you don’t know about

Since becoming a school mum I realised that Ryan has a life I know very little about.

I don’t know who he’s played with, what conversations he’s had with other children, how much he’s eaten for lunch, what he learnt during the day, or what type of personality he has at school.

He’s becoming his own person, and learning how to navigate problems as they arise on his own, which takes some getting used to.

There’s a lot of school admin

Becoming a school mum means there’s a whole level of school admin you have to manage.

There’s multiple emails, events to attend, PE kits to wear, homework to help with, and much, much more that I didn’t know was part of becoming a school mum.

I love using a planner to stay organised, but even the most organised of us will sometimes feel overwhelmed with everything we have to remember.

Uniforms need constant maintenance

No matter how new a uniform is it will get damaged, lost, or come home covered in paint, which makes school uniforms a constant source of maintenance.

To overcome this, sometimes I put Ryan in a dirty shirt, especially if it’s the end of the week, because I don’t want him to ruin a clean shirt, and I’m totally okay with that.

Making school mum friends isn’t mandatory

There seems to be a lot of pressure to make school mum friends, and a big lesson I’ve learnt since becoming a school mum is that it’s okay not to make school mum friends if you don’t want to.

There are many different types of school mums, and different types of school run mums, many that you’ll get along with, and many that won’t even talk to you.

Realising that school mum friendships may not be for you, or that you’re happy to be pleasant to other mums but not get too involved in their lives, is something that’s totally okay, and is an approach that I take so any awkward school mum friendship issues don’t affect mine, or Ryan’s time at school.

You won’t find out about your child’s day

It’s really hard to find out about your child’s day.

Whenever I ask Ryan about his day, who he played with, or what he learnt he always replies that he can’t remember.

I’ve tried many different ways to find out about his day, but nothing works.

I’ve come to realise that unless the school raises an issue with me, then his day was good.

You behave in front of the headteacher

I’ve learnt that I go back to well behaved student mode whenever I’m near the headteacher.

I also get Ryan to behave so neither of us gets in trouble, which is one of the funnier things about being a school mum.

At some stage you’ll forget something

No matter how organised for school you are, you’ll without a doubt forget something at some stage.

Whether it’s your kid’s water bottle, an event, or picking up your child up at the wrong time, there’s so many things to keep on top of that you’ll without a doubt forget something at some stage.

School runs can be challenging

No matter how much time you have in the morning, there will be a lot of bargaining, or yelling at your child to get them to hurry up and get out the door on time.

In my house there’s yelling about getting shoes or clothes on, eating breakfast, and a multitude of other things to ensure Ryan’s ready to leave on time.

As for school pickup, it seems to roll around really quickly, it feels like you’ve just done school drop off, and there never seems to be enough hours in the day to get what you need to do done.

What are some things you’ve learnt from a stage in your child’s life?