7 signs your child isn’t ready for potty training

Last Updated on April 4, 2024

There’s a lot of pressure to potty train our children by a certain age, which can make us start potty training our children before they’re ready.

Potty training children before they’re ready is exactly what I did with my oldest son, and it resulted in him immediately wetting the floor, lots of tears, and stress for both of us.

As a result, I decided to put it off for 6 months, which made the second time around a much smoother experience.

Being aware of some signs your child isn’t ready for potty training will help you to avoid starting potty training too early like I did, which will help a lot once you do start potty training.

Here are 7 signs your child isn’t ready for potty training, which I hope will help you to decide to delay potty training, if it’s something you’re not sure whether you should start.

Some of these signs are developmental milestones, which children reach at different ages. If you’re ever concerned about your child’s development, then you can get some advice from your Health Visitor or GP.

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Your child doesn’t care about dirty nappies

One of the signs your child isn’t ready for potty training is that they don’t care about dirty nappies.

If they don’t care about having a dirty nappy, then they’re less likely to care about, or resist using a potty, because they have no motivation to have a clean nappy.

Your child can’t hold their urine

Children need to have some control over their urine before starting potty training, so when they’re out of nappies, they can hold their urine until they’re near a toilet.

A good way to tell if your child is starting to hold their urine is if they’ve got a dry nappy for 2 hours, or if their nappy’s dry when they wake up from a nap, or their night time sleep.

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Your child can’t pull their pants up or down

I don’t 100% agree with this sign, but I do understand where it’s coming from.

One of the signs that your child isn’t ready for potty training is if they can’t pull their pants up or down on their own.

However, they may not be showing any other signs of not being ready to potty train, and if that’s the case, then I don’t think you need to wait for them to be able to pull their pants up or down on their own before you start.

I say this because when you first potty train your child, you’re in the bathroom with them, helping and watching them.

This means that you can help them to pull their pants up or down, and then once they become more confident, they can do it themselves.

One thing I do agree with though, is that at the start of potty training make sure you put your child in pants that are loose, and have an elastic waistband with no buttons or zips to make it as easy as possible for them to go when they need to.

Your child can’t tell you that they need to use the potty

For me, this is the reason why potty training the first time around didn’t work, because my son couldn’t tell me that he needed to use the potty.

Your child doesn’t need to be able to verbally tell you that they need to use the potty, they can tell you by crossing their legs, or taking your hand and leading you to the bathroom.

Any type of communication indicating that they need to go means that they understand what the potty is for, which is crucial in the potty training process.

Your child resists the potty

Using a potty is a big change, it’s a change to their routines, and it’s a change from wearing a nappy to wearing pants, all of which can be overwhelming and create fear and anxiety around the potty training process.

A child doesn’t have to be excited about using the potty, but they do need to have some interest in it, and not resist it to be ready.

Changes are already happening

If your child is already going through changes in their life, such as moving house, preparing for a new sibling, or moving from their cot to a big bed, then avoid potty training at this time.

Potty training during a season of change for your child, will add extra pressure and uncertainty to their days, and will make the process difficult or prolonged.

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Your child is having a lot of accidents

Your child will have accidents when they start potty training, and perhaps even months after the training has happened, but if you’re one or two days into potty training and your child is still having accidents, then this is one of the signs your child isn’t ready for potty training.

What happens if your child’s not ready?

If your child’s not ready for potty training, then wait until as many of these signs as possible no longer happen.

Whilst you’re waiting, try not to talk about potty training with your child so they don’t feel like potty training is a big deal.

The less of a deal it is to them, the less pressured and stressed they’ll feel when you do start to train them.

The best thing to remember for your own sanity is to not feel pressured to potty train your child by a certain age.

Even if your child shows none of these signs, don’t start potty training until you’re ready, because it’s as much as an experience for you as it is for your child.

If you’re ready, your child will pick up on it, and feel more confident and at ease with potty training, making the experience less stressful, and more enjoyable.

Do you know any other signs to indicate your child’s not ready for potty training?
I’d love to hear about them in the comments section below.